I ordered the book you referred to. Thanks for recommending it.

Btw, I just ordered the book you mentioned.

I have heard that swearing can be healing. I understand not wanting to swear but I hope you aren’t judged for it. You are in my prayers 🙏❤️

I'm a wizardy shamany thing, similar backstory to you.. decade of carework, worked in a few places like your in.. An covid was psychologically taxing, couldn't deal with the nurses killing people so left.. I went on a poster putting up spree for a few years.. it was great, very liberating, liberating.
My advice to you is thus; words can be very magical, be very literal, pedantic an somantic with them, as much as you can.

Write statements of intent that can't be confused as something else.
Meditate upon them, I find my toung forms an electrical pressure with the roof of my mouth when it's working well, letting the words hang in your mind as you go to sleep is good..
Example: "Very well Fortify my good mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health for me and against potential subversion against me."

I know this war, an only the best amongst us have been in the fight consciously, be proud of yourself, your doing well.

Words become emotions which become thought which become words again.. or something like that, control your words well an you control everything.

Very well Fortify your good mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health for you and against potential subversion against you. X

Play the game well an get out of that place.

Praying for you, May. Please keep sharing. I hope that it helps you to know that people out here love you and are praying for you.