We are a culture of getting “it” done in seconds. I’ve noticed as time goes on and we become more connected to our devices this behavior can lead to attention spans becoming shorter and possibly to the point of being almost non-existent.
And I think this is Sad!
The longer we can indulge ourselves in quiet contemplation or long languid explorations of what we are doing, the more information we will acquire. The key here is desiring to acquire information, being curious and hanging out long enough to observe and absorb our environment.
But we have learned that the quicker something gets done the better we are at it or we see ourselves as having accomplished something? I say… bullshit!
I remember as a child I would ask my father a question and he would look at me with a stern face and stark countenance and say” I will tell you once and that’s it!” Now that was upsetting even to my young mind and body. I remember thinking I better "get" this quickly otherwise I will be deemed “stupid” or “slow.” So I learned that I had to listen well and understand as much as I could in an instant. That experience served me well because it lead me to cultivate an insatiable curiosity and an ability to listen with intent. And I also realized I was NEVER really able to understand and absorb most things the first time I heard them. I wasn’t able to understand what he was saying or for that matter what a lot of people were saying. But I did watch their body language and all the things they weren’t actually verbalizing. So because of my father’s impatience I learned that I CANNOT really understand or grasp certain things when said only one time. However, I could learn by hearing, seeing and connecting with all parts of a person’s expression and non-verbal communications.
I was afraid of my father, he made me nervous and unsure of myself. He was fierce and not an easy person to connect with. And also he died a week before my 29th birthday and was sick for many years before so I really didn’t have much time with him in person. He has now been gone from this physical form for many decades and he is still teaching me things. I can’t say I really knew him or if I liked him but I can say that he taught me so many things in the short time that he was in my life.
Because he disconnected so deeply from his emotional body I chose to cultivate a knowing that our emotions are the only really important part of our physical existence. He died of congestive heart failure at the age of 55 and my interpretation of him is that his heart was breaking everyday. He couldn’t get a handle on his emotions or didn’t even understand that he had emotions other than being in rage and disengaged for a lot of his days. He would swing from being the life of the party to an out of control man. There were all sorts of diagnosis for him then and there would be even more now in the 21 century. However, I experienced him as a man who couldn’t connect and had a short fuse while being intimidating, unhinged and impatient. And I also greatly admired him for his fierce presence.
He gave me a lot to work with and I am grateful. It’s taken me many years to be in gratitude for his short fuse and impatience. I have cultivated endless amounts of patience and an unquenchable thirst for understanding and wanting to know myself and others. I spend my life listening to people and encouraging them to understand and connect with their inner world. It is the only thing that satisfies me in relationships. To know ourselves deeply and the desire to understand our inner landscape is what thrills and excited me.
Can you reflect on the people and experiences that informed who you are today?
How do you respond to your environment?
I see our inner landscapes as vast and always being ripe for a deeper exploration.
Wishing you a Safe and Fun Internal Journey of Discovery!
helen o
2 years ago