Picture: Where does this path lead me? Learning to find comfort in the unknown.
I read this sentence in a book I am reading “Lose our sense of comfort and survive or die clinging to it.” These words feel appropriate to so many parts of my current life experiences.
I was comfortable but I didn’t know it. Well maybe I knew something but I didn’t call it comfort. I called it My Life. It just was. I lived day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year. You get the picture. I went out socially, I am self employed, I went on adventures or some might call them vacations. I fully lived my life. Never thinking much about not having my life the way I wanted to live it.
I work and love what I do and it afforded me the life that I was living. Until then! I won’t even write what that means and I know you know what I mean. And that is what this post is about. It is about the experience that has rocked the world! It is about my experience that rocked and shifted my world and my perspective of what my world looks and feels like then and now.
I am still very much in the explorative stages of this part of my life. Who would’ve ever thought that at this time in my life I would not know who I am? Quite unsettling and also very liberating!
About 4 years ago I was participating in a workshop and I joined a group of women for lunch. I was sitting eating and enjoying my meal and the conversations and one of the women said to the entire table “I feel so happy that I have finally had the opportunity to meet and talk with a real hippie.” She was speaking about me. I was stunned and delighted and surprised and curious. I never had the opportunity to ask her what she saw in me or how I presented that gave her that impression. And even as I write those words I chuckle to myself because I know exactly what she saw in me and how she came to that “me as a hippie” conclusion. And it is because as each of us are unique unto ourselves and that is what makes each of us a part of the whole, we are also individuals. And my uniqueness is one of independence and agency over my words and actions. Now if that makes me a hippie in others eyes then I am all in!
In the beginning of all of this chaos a few people told me that all I was doing was parroting what other uninformed people were saying. I am still repeating that statement 3 years later because that is how deeply I was impacted by their opinion of me. I continue to be surprised by how those words have given me so much momentum to further my truth about my independent thinking. I am also not so self absorbed that I think I am the creator of original thoughts! What I am is a person who feels into all that is in front of me.
How did I know what I needed to do 3 years ago. I felt into what my gut and what my natural instincts were telling me. I didn’t require data or an outside source to let me know what path I needed to follow. And if that makes me a hippie or a person that is parroting others then that is what you can call me.
Scott Adams (* see below for another reference to this person) an intellectual and a person that I hadn’t followed and probably won’t, wants to “understand” how “we” knew how to do what we did. Well Scott, I will offer you this basic detail, Get out of your head and start inhabiting your body(which is not a separate entity). That is how you too can know what is true. Not just true but what is your TRUTH! I see this as the main reason why we are in this situation right now.
Disembodied, Dissociation, Separation, Detachment, Segregation, Division ~ just to name a few ways why we have ended up in the predicament we are now facing.
Too much intellectual masturbation and not enough self body pleasuring to find your way back home. And this is not about sexual pleasure, although that is a part of the pleasure but I am referring to self pleasuring of your soul.
Intentional Breathing, Laughing, Community, Eating, Walking, Dancing, Conscious Conversations, Sexual Connection, etc.
There are no winners in this except the people that made billions or is it trillions of dollars to execute this fiasco. And in my life and thinking that does not constitute a win. It equates a selling of ones soul to a source outside of oneself. Money is not the source of evil and it is not the source of a joy or fulfillment. Money is an energy and it has become something that is disproportionately worshipped. There is an obscene imbalance in all of this and for me this is how we got where we are today!
The solution~start feeling your body. We are our bodies! We are not separate from our bones, blood, organs, skin, eyes, ears, nose, brain, arms, legs, genitals. Start slowing down and come in contact with the essence of who you truly are. Not who you were taught to be but who you see yourself to be NOW. This will take time, energy and a desire to let yourself die to an old self and rebirth yourself into the life and way you choose to move forward.
Excerpt from the Substack~ ”This is not just because as *Scott Adams said “The unvaccinated won. They were correct” even had I been wrong on the science, I was correct on the morality. Rape is always immoral be it done via a penis, fingers, objects or injection needles. Forced medical treatment done under compulsion is always immoral and a crime against humanity. Medical treatment without informed consent is again, a crime against humanity. I will never apologize for making that clear.”
Thank you so much!