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Genesis 3:15
Genesis 29:1-2
Theme = find wife at the well = Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Jesus
Jacob talks to the Shepherds and them his future wife arrives
Genesis 29:9-30
Todays message - Love is crazy (could have been what goes around comes around)
Love though is an interesting thing
Love will cause a mom to give up sleep for months to take care of a newborn
Love will cause a dad to work 2-3 jobs to provide for his children
Love will cause a wife to forgive a husband and cause a husband to lay his life down for his wife
Love is a crazy thing
Love is necessary for any relationship to function
When it comes to human beings Relationships are the essence of life
Relational beings
We need relationships
Iron sharpens iron
God values relationships
So much so He Gave the law for the purpose of relationships
Regulated their relationship with God and each other
Law was given to bring wholeness to the community
Help fallen people develop godly relationships
God recognizes the importance of relationships
We are Relational beings that are good at making things messy
Some have a Ph.D and need lots of grace
We all need help in this area
Too often we are focused on finding the right ONE
Right husband/wife, Right best friend, Right business partner
To find the right one we must become the one
Funny story about new store that sells husbands in NYC
All of us are different but want the same thing
Want our needs met
4 Basic Needs
Hunger & Thirst for our needs to be met
We think marriage & family will meet our needs
Jimmy Evans list 4 basic needs
1. Acceptance
Will adjust who we are (masks)
2. Identity
Who am I?
3. Security
Feel safe emotionally, relationally & financially
Fear triggers fight or flight
4. Purpose
What on earth am I here for?
Have to have these 4 needs met to be healthy and whole
We naturally try and get our needs met
Problems arise when we try to get people and things to meet these needs
Careers
Family
Drugs
Sex
Power
The person using his wife is no better off than the person using drugs when trying to meet these needs
Jeremiah 17:5
Setup for failure
Verses 7-8
No human can meet your needs
Only God can
When try to have others it hurts us and them
I've unfairly done it to Kendra and creates friction
Only God can meet our deepest needs
John 6:35,
No guy or girl can satisfy your thirst
Jesus offers something that no one else can: wholeness
Not about finding the right one or being married to the perfect one
Become the One
"I hope I find the right one to marry"
"Oh no! I married the wrong one!!!"
Instead of worrying about finding the one focus on being the one
Law of like attraction
Don't be consumed with the thought of marrying the wrong one
Be the right on and watch the change happen
Easy to blame our problems on those closest to us
"All she does is spend" "All he ever is is rude"
Michael Jackson - Man in the Mirror
The problem in your marriage might look back at you
Be the one
Becoming the one is becoming more like Jesus
Triangle
I need to be more like Jesus to be better to Kendra
What is Love? Love is a feeling but it’s so much ore than that
1st Corinthians 13:4-7
God's love is in you so you can express it to others; love is a decision you make
Address The Mess
Maybe you are in a messy relationship
Look at God's original intent
Genesis 2:21-24
Marriage is between one man and one woman
One flesh sounds cool but is hard
A good marriage is like mashed potatoes
Potatoes example
3 ways to address the mess and make mashed potatoes
1. Celebrate Differences
Don't just tolerate but celebrate
Odds are your husband is not like you
It's a good thing
Guys and girls are different
Opposites attract
Kendra and I are VERY different
Where I am weak she is strong
We complete and compliment one another on our best days
Differences can be seen as negative or positive
Celebrate don't just tolerate
Psalms 139:14
2. Communicate Affirmation
Most relationship problems stem from poor communication
Where clear communication begins...
Need to learn to speak the universal heart language
It is not criticism or condemnation or complaining
That's the opposite
We dread criticism but long for affirmation
Affirmation is the universal heart language
Affirmation brings the best out in people
Inside every man is a king or peasant
3. Continually Forgive
Learning to forgive is a necessity
Fallen people do...
Decide in advance to forgive like God does
Matthew 18:21-22
Peter has someone in mind
People close to us hurt the worst
Christians are good at keeping score
Peter thinks he is generous
Jesus says 70 times
Forgiveness is not about keepings core but losing count
Conclusion
Matthew 6:14-15,
2 unforgivable sins
It is unforgivable to be unforgivable
Receive grace based on how you give grace
Forgive
Not worth going to hell because you can't let go