Grief part 11: Going Up to Get Bill's Stuff From the Truck, Making Final Arrangements
One of the hardest days ever. Three years later, I'm weeping, watching this and remembering. I pray that no one else has to go through this, but I know people will. O dear Lord God, please strengthen them.
I was blessed to have my parents with me, as well as very protective and helpful state troopers. I can't say enough wonderful things about Tennessee State troopers. When I see one parked someplace, I've gone over to them several times and thanked them for all they do, briefly sharing my experience with them. They're amazing and I'm so grateful for them.
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Love, love, love,
Alyce-Kay Ruckelshaus
Sweetwater, Tennessee USA
Where I talk about thinking it was a mistake: A couple years later, I was driving out to the freeway and I saw a man walking along the side of the highway. He looked so much like Bill, only raggedy! I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it couldn't be him. I have Bill's ashes. I have his wedding ring. I saw his truck. BUT there was part of me that HAD to turn the car around and go see that man. There was this hope in me that somehow they had been mistaken and my husband had been in the hospital and woken up and was walking home! I knew it couldn't be, but I was so excited. I pulled up alongside him, slowing way down ... the man looked up, and of course, it wasn't Bill, but I was so disappointed that I cried.
Again
I ended up not going with an hourglass, but with a peacock stained glass urn. The peacock is an ancient Christian symbol of resurrection and eternal life.
This was a difficult thing for me to watch, 3 years later.